


A Good Use of Our Time

by WildwingSuz



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, MSR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:08:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WildwingSuz/pseuds/WildwingSuz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A slightly different take on why Scully left so abruptly at the beginning of all things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Good Use of Our Time

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Notes: I have absolutely no idea where this came from.  I know I’m disturbingly obsessed with this episode, but even so I haven’t watched it in a while.  I think it’s taken up residence in my squirrely little mind.
> 
> Spoilers:  all things
> 
>  
> 
>  

 

 

You have the patience of a saint and the eye of an eagle, Mimic117.    
Thank you again for another wonderful, thorough beta.

 

 

 **A Good Use of Our Time**  
Rated NC-17  
Suzanne L. Feld

 

 

I woke to being held, cuddled close to a warm, hard male body, held firmly and yet not tightly, and mild jolting.  It took me a minute to figure it out, then I realized by the familiar scent of his aftershave that it was Mulder carrying me.  For a moment I wondered if something was wrong; was I hurt?  Then it hit me that I must have fallen asleep on his couch while he was talking. 

 

Before I could react Mulder set me down on something soft, and I opened my eyes.  We were in what I assumed was his bedroom, and I was being settled down on a firm bed with mounds of soft covers.  It was toasty from body heat and smelled deliciously like Mulder, his scent rising like a warm, invisible mist from the sheets.

 

His voice rumbled softly from above me. “Ah, you’re awake.  Go back to sleep, Scully, it’s barely midnight.”

 

I looked up at his darkened figure as his arms slid out from under me.  Suddenly I felt bereft, cold, alone, and reached up to grab his hand.  “Don’t go, Mulder.”

 

He looked down at me, eyes shadowed in the darkness.  The room was dimly lit from a streetlight outside the window, just enough to see by.  “What do you mean, Scully?  I need to know before I assume something that perhaps I shouldn’t.  After the talk we had, I mean.”

 

It took a moment since I was still sleep-groggy, but then it sank in what he meant and I froze.  I hadn’t considered this, but perhaps I should have.  He had put me in his bed, I assumed, so I’d be more comfortable and had probably planned to sleep out on the couch.  Now I was asking him to stay.  We were frozen in an awkward tableau as I tried to think it through, me sitting in the middle of his bed while he stood at its side with one arm out, my hand curling around his.  “I… I don’t know,” I finally admitted in a soft voice, letting go of his warm skin reluctantly.  “I just, uh, I don’t want you to leave.”

 

He stepped back, still looking down at me with an inscrutable expression.  It was then that I noticed he was bare-chested, although I had registered warm skin against my arm when I awakened.  Instead of the dark sweater, jeans, and boots he’d been wearing while we’d been talking on the couch, he had on a pair of pale blue pajama pants, feet and chest bare.  It was then that everything clicked in; he must have gone to bed, at least for a while, judging by the warmth and scent of the bedding, before deciding to let me have the more comfortable sleeping accommodations. 

 

“I can stay and, uh, talk for a bit until you go back to sleep,” he said, but I saw his shoulders slump.

 

Another realization hit my sleep-muzzy brain: Mulder _wanted_ me.  We had danced around our mutual attraction for so many years that I had always assumed he loved me in place of his sister Samantha despite the almost-kiss.  Not as a lover, or a romantic partner in any way.  But maybe I was wrong, or perhaps things had changed that I wasn’t quite getting until now.  Only one way to find out. 

 

“Mulder… I’m pretty groggy, I’ve barely slept in two days, and I’m sure you’re suffering from jet lag, so perhaps this isn’t the best time to be making life-shattering decisions.”  I paused and took a deep breath, still gazing up at him in the dimness. I wished that I could see his expression better, but this had to be said one way or another.  “For tonight, I’d like you to just sleep beside me.  But tomorrow… tomorrow I want to do some thinking, and talking, about changing my life, and conceivably yours, in ways we may have never considered before.”

 

I was relieved that he got what I was implying.  “What makes you think I haven’t considered… it?” he said with clear amusement as he sat on the edge of the bed by my feet, then swung his legs up and faced me sitting cross-legged, hands on knees.  Now I could see his face just enough to make out his expression, which was a weary half-smile.  “But I’m down with just sleeping.  I’m too beat to do much of anything else anyway.”

 

I smiled back at him and reached over to squeeze his hand briefly where it rested on the soft material.  “Give me five minutes in the bathroom?”

 

“If you want something more comfortable to sleep in, there are clean t-shirts in my travel bag on top of the dresser,” he said as I got up.  “Help yourself.”

 

I took him up on the offer, finding a grey t-shirt among his folded clothes and carrying it into the bathroom with me.  When I came out Mulder was lying down on his back, tangled in the disorganized covers with one big foot sticking out.  I wasn’t sure if he was asleep until I set my folded clothes on his duffel bag and looked over at the bed to see his eyes move, shining in the dimness.  Watching me.  Waiting to see what I’d do.

 

Well, considering that I was dressed in one of his old soft t-shirts and my panties I wasn’t going to dance the tango for his edification, I thought with amusement as I moved over to the bed.  Wisely, I did not say this out loud.  I pulled and yanked on the covers with little help from him until I had them all straightened out, then slid beneath the sheet and quilt next to him.  Without letting myself think about it I rolled toward him, laying on my side and throwing one arm across his firm, lightly haired chest.  He slid an arm under my neck as I snuggled close, wrapping it around my shoulders.  I let one leg rest lightly on his warm, hard thigh just above his knee, deliberately staying away from his groin.  He put his other hand lightly on the wrist that I had hanging over his waist.

 

I had never been this close to him before although we’d shared plenty of hugs and embraces over the years, including the time I’d tried to keep him warm in the Florida forest.  It was both oddly arousing and comforting, not a mix of emotions I’d ever experienced together before.

 

We both sighed, and I relaxed and smiled against his chest.  “This is nice, Mulder.”  Understatement of the year.

 

“Yeah.  I could get used to it.” He then yawned long and jaw-creakingly. 

 

“Good night, then.  Sleep well and I’ll see you in the morning,” I murmured, letting my eyes slip shut as they wanted to.

 

“Wait, Scully.”  The muscles of his arm and chest moved beneath me, and my eyes popped open to see his face above and leaning down towards mine.  My head slid from his bicep to the crook of his elbow as I rolled onto my back.  “After all this we should at least get a goodnight kiss, don’t you think?”

 

I started to reply but any words I might have uttered were swallowed by Mulder’s mouth descending on mine.  This was no sweet, undemanding, friendly peck like our New Year’s Eve kiss a few months ago, but more like the passionate lip-lock we had almost shared in his hallway what felt like a lifetime ago and yet was only two years previous.  Dimly I thought that it was a good thing I’d brushed my teeth with the supplies I kept over here, but that was about all I was able to contemplate before my mind totally short-circuited.  He wasn’t kissing me hard or urgently, like I had always thought our first real kiss would be, but thoroughly, lovingly.  His lips caressed me tenderly, his tongue reaching out to brush against mine firmly but gently.

 

Right up until I rolled over on top of him I thought it was nothing more than an overly-friendly goodnight kiss.  But next thing I knew, I had both of my arms wrapped around his head, sinking my fingers into his thick soft hair, and _I_ was kissing the hell out of _him_ , laying prone on his long, hard body with my legs between his spread ones.  I could feel the hot hard bump of his erection against my upper thighs.

 

Mulder certainly didn’t resist, that much was for sure.  Tired or not, jet-lagged or not, we were both wide awake now.  He had his hands cupping and caressing my head and face, not holding me down—I was doing that just fine on my own—but cradling my skull gently, lovingly.  Some faint part of my mind shrieked, aghast, at what I was doing, but the majority of it was involved in getting as close to Mulder as I could, in every way possible. 

 

To be touched and held with such love and desire after so long was my undoing.

 

Had he come to me demandingly, wildly passionate, I might have been able to tell him no, that we had to wait until we weren’t so tired.  But the clear love and tenderness in every move he made, the way he touched and kissed me as if I was the most desirable woman in the world, finally broke through my defenses like seawater over a sandcastle.  I was aroused to the point where I had to spread my legs, my labia swelled so suddenly, and I could feel my own dampness on my underwear.

 

His hands slid down from my head, over the soft t-shirt covering my back and, after a moment’s hesitation, cupped my ass and gently but firmly pushed me down on his erection, lifting his hips so that it rubbed against my mons and put pressure on my clit.  I saw stars and moaned into his mouth.  He groaned in return and broke the kiss, nibbling at my ear as I rested my chin gently on his chest, trying to catch my breath.  “I think I’ve changed my mind, Mulder.  I’m suddenly not very sleepy.”

 

A rumbling chuckle rolled through him.  “Oddly enough, I’m wide awake now too.  So what do you think we should do about this sudden bout of insomnia?”

 

“Well, we can’t have the time go to waste.”  I lifted my head and kissed him again, then pushed up, sitting on his waist with my legs bent on either side, and whipped the t-shirt off over my head. 

 

His hands, which had moved to cup my upper thighs, tightened momentarily and even in the dimness I saw how big his eyes were.  “Uh, no we can’t, we’ll have to keep busy somehow until we get sleepy.”

 

It was a good thing he didn’t say anything about work, I later thought, but at the time I was far too aroused to consider it.  Unable to wait for Mulder to touch me, I reached down and took hold of his hands, leading them to my bare breasts.  I held them there, feeling the muscles move as he squeezed me gently, our eyes holding.  It was one of the singular most erotic moments I had ever experienced. 

 

I leaned down to kiss him again and he bent his elbows, not moving his hands.  I let mine fall to rest on either side of his head, holding myself up with my elbows locked.   As we kissed I began to rock on his erection, rubbing my vulva back and forth across it through two layers of cloth; somehow the covers had gotten shoved to the foot of the bed.  The thick ridge of his cock rubbed hard across my clit and I let out a long, low moan into his mouth, then broke the kiss, panting against his soft, damp lips. 

 

“Is this busy enough for you, Scully?”

 

“Almost… almost,” I breathed, throwing my head back as he continued to knead my breasts, running his fingers over the taut nipples now and then.  I wanted to keep rubbing myself on him until I got off though frottage had never been my thing, but even more I wanted him inside me.  Instead I stilled my movements.  “I can think of better ways to utilize our time, however.”

 

“Ooohhh, do tell.” 

 

I slid backwards, careful not to be too rough, and sat on my heels between his spread knees, then reached for the waistband of his pajama pants.  “Well, first I have to see what I have to work with here.”

 

He reached behind his shoulders and stuffed a pillow under his head so that it was raised, then lifted his hips.  “Understandable.  Just keep in mind that it’s, uh, primed to go off at any time.”

 

I pulled the soft blue cotton pants down, carefully lifting the elastic over his bare cock; he wasn’t wearing underwear beneath his pajamas, but then I rarely did either.  “Well, well, I think I can work just fine with this,” I said, wondering if he heard the tremor in my voice.  While he wasn’t outrageously huge, God had certainly blessed Fox Mulder in this department—and then some.  He was definitely the largest man I had ever been with, especially since my fingers didn’t meet around his girth as I held him at the base.  “Do you think that my having a little taste test would be a good use of our time?”

 

I felt his whole body shiver beneath my hands.  “Whatever you think is best, Scully.  You’re the time-use expert—oooohhhhh!”

 

I mumbled against the head of his cock, “You talk too much sometimes, Mulder,” then swallowed him again.  I could only take about half of him in, and didn’t want to try and deep throat him right now in case it was too much for him, but I had definite plans to do it another time.  Because there would be another time, I already knew that.  Hell, I would make sure of it.

 

“Jee-sus, Scully, but you are good at that—maybe too good.” He groaned, and I glanced up at him while I had him as deep in as I could take him.  Our eyes met, and his widened.  “Ohhh, fuck.”

 

His cock twitched in my mouth and I decided that I’d better back off if I wanted the festivities to last more than another thirty seconds.  I sucked up him one last time and then let him pop out of my mouth.  I found myself tossed on my back and expected him to mount me and dive in, but of course that’s not what happened.  Mulder never seemed to do what I anticipated him to, and apparently sex was no different.

 

Instead, Mulder laid on top of me with his smooth, taut belly resting between my legs, his face level with and just over mine, so close that our breath blew on each other’s skin.  He rested on one elbow, the other hand going to cup the side of my jaw as he gazed down into my eyes.  Even in the dim light, I could see clearly enough.  My gut jolted from the look on his face: love, yearning, lust and, most of all, determination.  “Do you have any idea how much I love you, Scully—how madly I’m _in_ love with you?” he rasped, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone. 

 

“Yes—because it’s how I feel about you,” I half-whispered hoarsely. My throat swelled with emotion as I held his gaze and let him see what was in my heart.  I raised both hands and ran the backs of them gently along his ribs, hiding nothing.  At last.  I showed him everything I felt, everything I had been hiding and fighting and denying all these years.  He stripped down my defenses and I put up no resistance as I felt myself emotionally laid bare before his resolve.  There would be no mysteries, no hidden secrets or lies, between us in bed.  Here, if nowhere else, I knew I could trust him with both my body and my heart. 

 

“Oh, Scully.”  He leaned forward and kissed me the same way he had earlier, with so much passion and love that it felt like I would either melt or explode from the sheer beauty of it.  I had never felt so wanted, loved, or desired in my entire life. 

 

Now I thought for sure he’d slide into me and wrapped my legs around his slender waist in anticipation, but yet again he surprised me.  Instead he reared back on his knees, big hands tugging at my underwear, which I had forgotten I had on, and together we managed to get them off. Then he pushed my knees to either side so that I was spread open before him.  “Patience, Scully, is a virtue,” he said as he hovered over me, caressing my taut outer thighs.  “And, I would think, a good use of our time.”

 

“I’ll patience you if you don’t get things moving along here,” I mock-growled.  I could smell my own musky excitement, and his too.  I had never been so aroused in my life, or denied release or even the touch of my own hand for so long.  “What are you _waiting_ for, Mulder?”

 

“Not waiting—enjoying,” he said, moving his hands up to splay them on my belly, his fingers curving around my hipbones while his thumbs touched just beneath my navel.  “Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited to see you like this?  Fantasized about you laying naked across my bed?  Wondered how soft the skin is behind your knees?” He ran one finger over the aforementioned area and I shivered.  “I have desired you from day one, but I fell more and more in love with you over the years.  The more I’ve gotten to know you, the more I’ve respected and admired you, Scully.  I thought I would lose it during your cancer, I was so terrified.  Now, no matter how long it takes, I am going to enjoy every moment of making love to you.  I’m gonna do it right and make it a night we’ll never forget.”

 

I was stunned by this little speech, and turned on even more if that was possible.  “I usually make the speeches, Mulder, but that was very eloquent,” I said thickly around the lump in my throat that seemed determined to keep returning. “I take it back; this is a _very_ good use of our time.”

 

He smiled sexily, spreading his bent legs beneath my thighs, lifting and opening them. He leaned forward a little more, his cock still not touching my body, and ran his hands from my hips to my shoulders, letting his fingers and palms scrape lightly over my turgid nipples.  I moaned and arched my back, but he just moved his hands down my arms to twine my fingers with his and then leaned down to kiss me tenderly.  Our linked hands rested on the bed beside my hips, and I felt his rock-hard cock lightly brushing my labia.

 

Pretty speeches aside, enough was _enough_. 

 

I glanced to both sides as he lifted his face from mine, then wrapped my legs around his waist again, squirming my hands out of his grasp.  Reaching up, I grabbed his shoulders, toppling him to the right and rolling on top of him.  This time I had my legs outside of his, and one knee was hanging over the edge of the mattress so I nudged him with it.  He lifted his hips to move us over and his cock rubbed against me in all the right places, full-on from clit to the end of my perineum.  I felt my arousal go from a simmer to a boil; the pressure nearly made me come, but I didn’t want that just yet. 

 

Instead I slid up and sat on his waist, bracing one hand on the bed to hold me up while curling the other around his strong, warm neck just below his neatly cropped dark hair.  I leaned down and kissed him, moving in slowly so our eyes could stay linked.  He slid one hand at the back of my head, the other grasping my hip.

 

We kissed long and slow and wet, tongues sliding together, sharing our breath back and forth, our eyes open just enough to watch each other.  I had wanted to slide down on him while kissing, but I was too distracted to make it work. 

 

 He put both hands on my waist and lifted me up, saying hoarsely, “Guide me home, Scully.”

 

 _Finally_ , I thought.  I reached down between my legs and positioned his cock at my entrance and as he lowered me down, the head parted my lips.  It was a tight fit at first, but the feel of him finally entering me caused me to generate even more wetness that eased his passage.  I braced both hands on the bed at the sides of his head and held his eyes, letting him see what he did to me and relishing his open reaction as we finally joined, at long last. 

 

We were both gasping and moaning as he finally came to rest deep inside me, and I arched my back to take him in as much as I could.  I had never felt so full, so complete in my life.  “God, Mulder,” I gasped, almost overcome by the extreme sensations.

 

“Yeah, Scully,” he breathed, the corners of his eyes crinkling.  I leaned back a little so that I could see his whole face to find that he was smiling up at me, looking happier than I had ever seen him.

 

I couldn’t help but return his smile, then leaned forward to fall on that sexy mouth while leaning forward so that his cock slid nearly out of me.  He pushed up, I pushed back, and with our mouths fused together we rocked together in the age-old dance of love. 

 

My nipples rasped against the dark hair on his chest, ratcheting my arousal up even more than the electrifying push and pull of him going in and out of me.  I pulled my mouth away from his and gasped for air, suddenly feeling so overcome that I felt I had to either explode or lose my mind. 

 

As I sat up, Mulder panted, “I’m so close Scully… come with me?  Can you make it?” 

 

“That’s the plan,” I gasped, reaching down between my legs.  I was so close that I knew it wouldn’t take much, and seeing that Mulder’s eyes were glued to my hand helped me along that much more.  I had barely touched my clit before I was gone, feeling the tidal wave of ecstasy roll over me, my body pulsing, barely aware that I was crying out his name and not caring how much noise I was making.

 

I came back to myself as Mulder shoved up into me one final time, pulling me down on him; it might have been painful had I not just come.  His head was thrown back against the bed, face contorted in the grimace of orgasm, his whole body taut and thrumming. “Oh, Scully, God, Scully,” he groaned huskily, the tendons on his neck standing out.  My stomach jolted at hearing him say my name at the moment he found his release. 

 

His body relaxed slowly beneath me and I sank down on him, my arms over his shoulders.  I let my forehead fall to his chest, feeling his arms wrap loosely around my waist.  He panted warm breath on my shoulder as I felt him begin to soften inside me. 

 

I had never felt so wonderful in my life.  For the first time in what seemed like forever I knew that I was right where I belonged and that, indeed, all the paths in my life had brought me to where I should be.  I wanted to tell Mulder that but before I could, I fell asleep.

 

Once again I woke to being held, cuddled close to a warm, hard male body, held firmly and yet not tightly, and that I was being moved.  But this time I knew where I was and what was going on; despite my grogginess from not having slept long, the faint soreness between my legs immediately reminded me.  “S’up, Mulder?” I murmured as he laid me back on cool, rumpled sheets.

 

“Just need to use the bathroom; be right back,” he murmured, then kissed my cheek and moved away.  I glanced around to see that I was now laying the right way on the bed with a pillow beneath my head, and that his alarm clock revealed that it was 5:15 am.  I hadn’t slept long, then.  Though I wanted to, I couldn’t seem to doze off again.  I remembered that we had work in the morning and as much as I’d have liked to, we didn’t dare call in.  The last thing I wanted was any type of suspicion now that we’d finally crossed the line that so many others doubtlessly thought we’d shattered years ago.

 

Mulder padded back across the room still naked and even though the light was dimmer than earlier, I could see him clearly enough to enjoy the sight.  I’d always thought he had the perfect masculine body, not overly bulky or hairy but with a quiet power in those long, lean muscles.  Like a big cat anticipating being unleashed.

 

He slid in next to me, tugging and yanking at the covers which were once again all tangled up.  “So, Scully, think that was a good use of our time?” he said, flopping down on his back and sprawling out.

 

I was a little taken aback, thinking he’d cuddle and hold me again like he had before we’d made love.  I rolled to my side and got up on one elbow facing him, frowning a little.  “Why, don’t you?” I said, growing annoyed at his blasé attitude about the whole thing.  This had been the most heartbreakingly special night of my life and he thought it was nothing more than a good use of our time?  This was one time I had no patience for smart remarks, if that was what he’d meant.

 

His face turned towards me, eyelids drooping tiredly.  “Didn’t say that… c’mere, Scully.”  His voice was gravelly, lethargic.  One hand beckoned, but I was both confused and somewhat hurt about the way he was acting and no longer sleepy in the slightest. 

 

“Gotta use the bathroom too,” I muttered, rolling to my feet and spotting my underwear just a short distance away. I yanked them on, grimacing at the dampness that clung to the crotch, and stalked off.  _Just like a man,_ I thought, getting more annoyed by the minute.  _It’s all ‘I love you’ and persuasion when they want to get you in the sack, but the minute they get off, the sweet nothings are finished.  Damned if I’ll be another of Mulder’s “chickadees”, taken for granted and left in the dust.  He’s got another think coming if he assumes that’s how he can treat Dana Scully._

 

I stalked out of the bathroom in just my underwear, full of righteous wrath, planning to give him a piece of my mind, only to hear a low, rumbling snore coming from the bed.  I stopped and stood next to it, looking at his sprawled form among the rumpled covers.  He was out like a light.  Jesus, even asleep he was the most gorgeous man I had ever seen and I felt my heart twinge as I gazed down at him.  The wind was out of my proverbial sails and I wasn’t about to wake him.  He wouldn’t get away with making a careless, smart remark and then passing out, I vowed, hardening my heart against his masculine beauty and the deep, longing love I couldn’t help but feel for him.  Even if he was jet-lagged.

 

For now, I’d let him sleep.  I picked up my clothes, laying my blazer over the foot of the bed, then found the t-shirt of his I’d worn so briefly and took them into the bathroom.  I tossed his shirt into the overflowing laundry basket then got dressed.  I made myself meet my eyes in the mirror, thinking that I looked no different despite the huge change in my life that this night had wrought.

 

As I put on my jacket I couldn’t help but look at him, replaying the hours past in my mind’s eye and wondering how he could say and do all those wonderful, romantic things and then just make a smart remark afterward like it was no big deal.  I wondered for a moment if I wasn’t overreacting, but now—especially now—I thought I knew my own heart.  I had been treated this way before and it was one reason I hadn’t wanted to get involved in a sexual relationship with Mulder.  For the first time in my life I wasn’t going to just sit back and take it, let him get away with treating me like this.  We were going to be more than fuck-buddies, or this was the only time we had sex because I refused to ever be treated like that again.

 

Oh, no, tomorrow Fox Mulder was going to get a piece of my mind that was long in coming.  Mentally rubbing my hands together and plotting what I would say I left his apartment, doing my best to ignore the wish that I could be back in there cuddled against his warm, hard body.  As the cold, biting, early April wind swirled around me outside the front door of his apartment building I did almost go back inside, but firmed my resolve and continued down the steps. 

 

Never did it occur to me to consider how many times I had to force myself to leave him, or why I was so confused, hurt, and annoyed.  I wasn’t going to let myself think about it.

 

If I could.

 

_finis_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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